Brida

Posted by Sofia On Thursday, September 29, 2011 0 comments

Kita bertanggung jawab atas seluruh bumi karena kita tidak tau di mana mereka mungkin berada. Kita adalah para pasangan jiwa sejak awal waktu. Jika mereka baik-baik saja, kita juga akan bahagia. Jika keadaan mereka tidak baik, kita akan merasakan, betapapun kita tidak menyadarinya, sebagian dari rasa sakit mereka. Namun diatas segalanya, kita bertanggung jawab atas pertemuan kembali, setidaknya sekali dalam tiap inkarnasi, dengan pasangan jiwa yang pasti akan berpapasan di jalan kita. Meski hanya sekejap, karena waktu yang sekejap itu membawa sebentuk cinta yang begitu dalam hingga mampu membenarkan seluruh sisa hari yang kita miliki.
Memilih satu jalan berarti harus kehilangan jalan-jalan yang lain. Ia memiliki satu kehidupan utuh untuk dijalani dan selalu berpikir nanti ia mungkin menyesali pilihan-pilihan yang diambil saat ini. "Aku takut berkomitmen kepada diriku sendiri". Ia ingin mengikuti semua jalan yang mungkin dan akhirnya malah tidak mengikuti satu pun.
Bahkan dalam area penting dalam kehidupannya, cinta, ia gagal memaksa dirinya membuat komitmen. Setelah kekecewaaan cinta pertamanya, dia tak pernah lagi menyerahkan dirinya sepenuhnya. Ia takut pada rasa sakit, kehilangan, dan perpisahan. Hal-hal ini tidak dapat dihindari sepanjang jalan menuju cinta, dan satu-satunya cara menghindari semua itu adalah dengan memutuskan untuk tidak mengambil jalan sama sekali. Supaya tak perlu menderita, kau harus menolak cinta.
Gadis itu tau, dirinya bukan untuk pria itu. Meski demikian, mereka menyerah pada cinta mereka, membiarkan hidup bertanggung jawab memisahkan mereka ketika tiba waktunya. Bukannya memusnahkan hasrat mereka, ini malah membuat mereka menjalani setiap saat seakan itulah saat terakhir bagi mereka, dan cinta diantara mereka memiliki semua intensitas hal-hal yang memiliki kualitas abadi seperti jika mereka akan segera mati.
Hingga suatu hari, gadis itu bertemu dengan pria lain. Tapi cinta bukanlah sesuatu yang memerlukan alasan, dan gadis itu jatuh cinta, sepanjang pengetahuannya, waktu bersama pria sebelumnya sudah berakhir.
Kita tidak mencari jawaban, kita menerima, lalu hidup menjadi lebih intens, lebih bercahaya, karena kita memahami bahwa setiap menit, setiap langkah yang kita ambil, memiliki arti lebih dalam dari sekedar diri kita sendiri. Kita menyadari di suatu tempat dalam ruang dan waktu, pertanyaan ini memiliki jawaban. Kita menyadari memang ada alasan untuk keberadaan kita di sini, dan bagi kita, itu sudah cukup.

"Bahwa kau tidak akan pernah menjadi milikku dan karena itulah aku tidak akan pernah kehilanganmu."
Kau adalah harapanku pada momen kesepianku, kecemasanku pada momen keragu-raguan, kepastianku pada momen keyakinan.

"Mengetahui bahwa kau adalah nyata adalah alasanku untuk melanjutkan hidup."
Kemudian kau datang untuk membebaskanku dari perbudakan yang kuciptakan sendiri, memberitahuku bahwa aku bebas kembali ke dunia dan ke hal-hal yang ada di dunia.

"Aku akan selalu ingat bahwa cinta itu kebebasan."

by: Paulo Coelho

being a victim

Posted by Sofia On Sunday, September 11, 2011 0 comments

I realize that my live is not easy. as personnel, as a child, as a human being, and as a co creator. as long as I live, sometime I feel enjoy when being like a victim. I can cry and contemplate and hope as a person I could be a better person. in that time, I know, I really love my self.

August, 25th 2011

Posted by Sofia On Friday, August 26, 2011 0 comments


6 years ago, eventually I accepted him to be my close friend. I knew that it wasn’t an easy condition to go through. I loved him, but there are so many things that I thought would be an obstacle in our relationship then. Actually, until now, I don’t know what love is. But I guess I was in love with him. He is a kind guy, handsome, and cool. He could be my friend, my father, my brother, and of course my man.  I was gone through an exceptional relationship. He and I have far age differentiation and we need to work professionally because we are a partner. He asks me to hide this relationship because of those conditions. For me, it’s not a big deal, but time goes by and I think I need to be recognized as his girl. . In my relationship, actually there's no big problem but we have a big differentiation which probably we could never solve and get win-win solution. So I decided to end our great relationship. Our relationship just worked for about 2 years. But I guess, our friendship still working.
Now, situation is different. I missed him already. But I realize, he couldn't be my man again. We have a different way to go through. I just loved him when he closed to me not as a free man. If even we have in a same way, I couldn’t be with him again. I know, everyone has their past, but I think that his past so disturbing to me and I don’t know whether I can deal with that or not. Fortunately, our business has done since I broke up with him. Sometimes, I was trying to get in touch with him. He gives me good responds. But, I couldn’t do it again. I need to move on as soon as possible. I’m not in love again with him, I just missed him. But that feeling is inappropriate again for me.
I deserve to get a better man to be mine and all I need is just keep my eyes open.

Bukan dia yang ku harapkan, tapi dia yang lain …

Posted by Sofia On Tuesday, July 5, 2011 0 comments


About a few days ago, I have chat with someone. Yes, someone. He doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I still respect due to he was a good man, he could be my father, my brother, my friend. Although he has a bad intention to me, but it just for once time. He just like other people, do mistake.
He is a part of story of my life. So, I can’t forget him as simple as throw the rubbish into the garbage dump.
He has ever cared to me. I appreciate for that.
But the problem is those words comes from the person who I'm not expect anymore. I wish those words given by a certain person who can be next to me forever.

Inspiring people

Posted by Sofia On Friday, June 24, 2011 0 comments


Started from I was in college until now, those inspiring people is around me. They make me open my eyes widely to see the world. The road to touch heaven such a being a useful person to other and the most important thing is how to being a good even better person. I’m so blissful and grateful have them in my life. Maybe I did not meet them directly, but I can see and know them with anything media, such as twitter, movie, etc.
I believe that environment has a big influence to a person. By now, I consider that I’m not a good person yet. Still do the wrong thing, then have guilty, and so on. But I still have a faith that God has plan to me. God send those people to be there in my life with the reason.

Rest in peace, love

Posted by Sofia On 0 comments


I remembered when you weak up in late night just to change my pants because I made water. You sleep beside me, you are my nanny.
Then you left me when I was in high school. You decide to taking care your grandchild because his mom was not in this country, but did her duty in Malaysia. Until you died at June 23rd, 2011, we don’t have any idea about her existence.
You are a great nanny, you take care of me with a good way. I’m so grateful having you in my life.

what time will you go home?

Posted by Sofia On Thursday, June 9, 2011 0 comments

25 May 2011

Legally, employee working in 8 hours. In couple of office, there flexy time which is as long as you working in 8 hours, you can go home. Ironically, sometimes, other or boss assess you are dedicated employee or not by time you go home. And this situation happens to me. I don't know, what others expectation, but I'll do what they want me to do.
Maybe they got some stressed but feels not fair enough if they substitute to other employee..